Its a girl... and a girl!

16 weeks along... standing in the babies' room!

November 2012
     So we've made it to the 2nd trimester and calling it the honeymoon phase is definitely right on. I feel really good. I still get tired but not like during the first trimester. My morning sickness has vanished. I also got one of those Snoogle pillows so getting comfortable at night is much easier. I'm growing a belly, which happens earlier with twins then in a singleton, and I have moved to maternity clothes. Maternity pants are a Godsend!! I never want to go back to regular pants ever again. My mom and I went shopping and while we were in the maternity section at Macy's she suggested I just try a few things on... greatest idea ever, thanks Mom. We found out Jessica Simpson now has a maternity line out and I got some very cute stuff. I didn't even realize I was uncomfortable in my regular jeans until in the dressing room and I literally wore them out of the store. 
    My Dr. appointments have been going well and even though I'm carrying two, I'm not considered high risk so I don't have another appointment until 21 weeks! We couldn't wait that long to find out the genders and did decide to go to a specialty 3D/4D ultrasound place. I looked them up online and the best price & reviews were for First Peek in Oak Park. They said they could do a gender check as early as 15 weeks with 99.6% accuracy! If they can't see for any reason you can come back as many times as it takes for free. Last Saturday, Cam, my parents, and I ventured down there. Its a cute little place and they had a couch with several big screen TVs in the ultrasound room. You can bring up to 5 people with you. The bed I got to lay on was so comfortable, I could have taken a nap on it. Once the technician got started, it was very neat to see her go back and forth from 2D to 3D. Everyone had a great view in the room and she spent a good 30 min with us. She pointed out body parts and explained everything we were looking at. The babies still look very alien-ish but I know its still early! Its definitely more baby like then the first blobs we saw. It is amazing all that they can see. Baby A was more stubborn and wouldn't open their legs right away but Baby B cooperated and right away she announced its a girl! After some moving around and pushing on my belly we got Baby A to open up and... another girl!! I had walked in the office convinced that we were having a boy and a girl but I'm just as happy to know I was wrong. So 2 baby girls will be moving in soon. I was tearing up during the whole process which happens every time I get to see them. I loved seeing them swim around in there and I cant wait until I feel the first movement. I know Cam has been as very happy through out all of this but something changed in him after he saw his girls that day. He keeps texting me names and wanted to go wander around at Babies R Us. I'm very lucky to have such an involved partner. It took us a while to get here but I think God had a plan for us and I'm so glad to have my husband by my side and just as excited about our little girls :) 

Both the girls... you can see the 2 heads here and if you look close  Baby A is kind of trying to spoon with Baby B

Baby B her hands are crossed in front of her

Baby A... already posing with her arm up by her head like a supermodel! 

They gave us 'Its a Girl" balloons at First Peek! Proud Mama and Daddy! 

Thank God we are just having 2!

October 2012

the babies @ 13 weeks... A on top B on bottom (you can only see a little of B)

Now that I'm back to my regular obgyne its kind of sad how normal I am. Dont get me wrong it is great to be able to say, "YES I'm pregnant!" when they ask you on the phone while making an appointment, but its sad because I'm just a face in the crowd there. The only thing that makes me stand out now is when they ask how many... seeing the look on people faces when I say 2 is priceless. I think the biggest difference for me here than at the fertility place is I felt so special there! I do love my obgyne but its definitely a different feel. My first appointment went well... I was confirmed pregnant (haha told ya)! My "morning" sickness has stopped for the most part. We did opt to have the NT test done. That test checks for chromosome abnormalities and Down's. I went to Evanston hospital for that because they have the fetal diagnostic center. When I walked in a I greeted by a new mom saying hi to the staff with her 9 week old triplets! And as cute as they were... I text Cam immediately- Just saw triplets... so glad we are having 2- He misread my text and thought I meant I saw triplets on the ultrasound and that WE were having triplets. That was a scary moment for him! The appointment for that is an ultrasound (my first NOT internal one :) and a finger prick for blood. The measurements came back in the normal range and we are low risk for the abnormalities... with this test there is never NO risk its just a high, medium, low deal. We are very blessed to have things going so well and I will never take that for granted. I am however dying to know what the sexes are and since we are doing well and I'm not high risk, our next ultrasound isnt until 21 weeks. I'm only 14 weeks now! Thats 7 weeks I have to wait!!! Grrrrr... We are probably going to cave and do the 3D/4D ultrasound at one of those speciality places. We found a great deal at a place in Oak Park and they will do it as early as 15 weeks with a 95% accuracy. IF they cant see it for any reason we can come back with in a month for free and if they are wrong we get our money back. Its been tough for Cam to make it to some of the appointments because of work and football so I figure its win-win. I get to find out and he gets to finally see our active little chickadees swimming around in me. Did I mention they have not taken very good u/s photos the past 2 times because they couldn't stop moving. I was thrilled to see them thrashing around but the fetal diagnostic tech that was trying to see their nasal bones was not as happy. All in all... things are going well, I feel good, I'm getting bigger by the day, and we also got our nursery well on its way! 

found this adorable furniture @ IKEA... yes I have heard a lot it looks very boyish but who says everything has to be pink for girls and blue for boys... I happen to like blues and orange! plus looks at the cute frames below that I painted fun colors :) 

We are going with a classic winnie the pooh theme, or as I call him 'naked pooh' so I framed pooh quotes! 

more pooh quotes in fun frames! 

tried a panoramic shot with my phone... kinda grainy but you get the idea

                         

Last appointment @ FCI

almost 10 weeks! 1 inch long and 176bmp... both of them were exactly the same. 

September 2012

We had our final appointment at FCI yesterday. It was bittersweet. I have grown so fond of the staff there. I will miss the ultrasound tech, Natalie, who knows my right ovary is easier to see with the external u/s, the phlebotomist that can get my thin veins pumping in mere seconds, the nurse, Susan,  who answers my crazy emails at all hours of the day, the front desk lady, Sue, who always fits me in and saves the root beer candies for me, and of course Dr. Nani who pretty much made my babies! I would recommended them over and over again. If you need any fertility help go to FCI in Lindenhurst. The last appointment started with an ultrasound (of course) where we got to see our even larger babies (1 inch already) they even wiggled around a little! I thought the heartbeat was cool but the wiggling was amazing. Then we met with Dr. Nani, we went over everything and how to phase out of my medications :) and then she reminded us that we have 13 more embryos frozen for future use! We have 8 that are just as highly rated as the ones we used and 5 that are just a little bit lower than the others. Good to know but I'm thinking 2 may be just enough. When the time comes we have decided we will donate our embryos to research and other couples. After a lot of discussion, we think that its better that something good comes from them rather than being destroyed. I'm now almost 10 weeks and the morning sickness has pretty much gone away. Smells still trigger some nausea but nothing too bad. I'm really tired and really hungry all the time.  Oh and I'm constantly having to pee! Our next step, which I think is hysterical, is my appointment at my regular obgyn to confirm the pregnancy... see why this is funny to me. I guess its what they have to do even though FCI has been monitoring me for weeks now.  I mean really? I saw them wiggle. haha. Anyways, I'm not sure how often I will get ultrasounds now but I'm sure I'll be told in my appointment next week. Not to worry I will keep updating for anyone that wants to read! 

I just thought this was neat... its the past 3 weeks of u/s isnt it amazing how fast they grow?!?

Just about 8 weeks :)

7.5 weeks!

September 2012

Just about 8 weeks along and everything is going very well. The babies are healthy and hearts are pumping at 157bpm and 159bpm! Morning sickness has kicked in full swing and I even got to barf on the train the other day. Its really amazing and lucky that the first few weeks while we are still being monitored by FCI (the fertility center). we get to do an ultrasound every week. I think its awesome because you can see what a difference just a week makes with these little guys. Cam said they have gone from 'blobs' to 'peanuts' haha and he's right! We are really so excited and have gotten so much support that it warms my heart like you cant believe.

Now there is something I wanted to write about and this doesn't pertain to just IVF parents but to anyone. This is just my personal opinion. I don't quite understand/agree with the 10week/12week rule of telling people you're pregnant. I guess thats pretty clear seeing as y'all know and are reading this haha but let me tell you why. First, I completely believe in surrounding yourself with positivity. One thing you can definitely get negative about is fertility issues and I found that the more good energy I had around the more it rubbed off. Receiving prayers and encouragement really kept me and Cam going through this whole journey so why would I wait a certain amount of time to get what I need from friends and family? Second, the main reason people wait is incase something goes wrong. Well if something is to go wrong I will want and need support. Most people dont get through rough times alone and this would be no different. To me the more I bottle up an issue the more it eats, and eats at me until I lash out or just go nuts. I think what got me through to where I am now is how open I have been about everything. It has certainly made for some interesting conversations at work but it is also great when I was having a bad day that my friends/coworkers knew what was going on, so they understood. That leads me to my next reason, during the first trimester there are a lot of crappy symptoms. I will need to complain about these... if everything is a secret then how am I supposed to complain! I keep telling people I feel crappy but happy. My last, well I'm sure there's more but I cant think of them right now, reason is that I can't keep a secret to save my soul. I really can't imagine trying to keep it a secret for 12 weeks! I'm so excited about these babies I want to shout it from the rooftops (which in this day and age is facebook ;). So there's my little daily rant but had to get it out there. I know I'm not alone because I have read similar reasons on other blogs and its definitely each person's choice on when they tell... these are just my reasons!

PS. We also got good news that next week will be our last ultrasound at FCI! We will have our exit appointment with Dr. Nani and then I will be released to my regular ob/gyn :)

2 Week Wait

August 2012

This was taken a few days after the positive pregnancy test at 5.5 weeks no heart beats yet but definitely 2 yolk sacks!

My 2WW ended up being 10 days! I lied I told all my family and friends it was 2 days later than it was. I did that more because if it turned out to be bad news then we had a couple days to prepare for telling them small group of people who have been our support during this whole thing. I have to say I have a wonderful group of people I work with and some very close family and best friends that couldn't have been more supportive and I think really helped keep me sane through all this crap. Also my hubby has been positive and by my side through everything. I really couldn't ask for a better partner! Most people dont even come close to understanding the stress, anxiety, excitement, disappointment, anger, financial stress and happiness that is associated with all of this! My friends get it. They have been there through this roller coaster and I appreciate it more than words can even try to say. Thanks guys! Also I did some acupuncture, Angel reading, and tapping (with the guidance of a very special friend) and it definitely kept me thinking positively. Anyways so the day of the blood test (and yes I took one pregnancy test on day 6 even though they tell you not to and it did come out negative.... then I was pissed I took it) I went in at 7am with Cam thinking oh it will be quick and we can know right away... yea, NO. They have to send that blood in like everything else so I didn't get a call with results until 2:30pm!! Longest day EVER!!! But worth the wait... because it worked!! We are pregnant :D We have since found out it is twins... Dr. Nani was correct! This has been a crazy journey and I'm currently only at 6.5 weeks but I will continue to tell my story to whoever is interested and hopefully give hope to anyone in a similar boat. We just saw the heart beats today and its amazing. Everything about IVF is AMAZING.

This is at 6.5 weeks... and our 1st time seeing the flickers of the heartbeats!! 

IVF transfer

July 2012

Our 1st picture of our babies!
The bright white spot in the middle -closer to the top was were we saw the flashes when they put the embryos in 

Longest almost 2 months of my life. The few weeks before the transfer date you again start shots at home. These are much easier than before the egg retrieval. I didn't get as sore in they tummy area! This time they don't monitor your ovaries they monitor your uterine lining. It kept reminding me of Phoebe in Friends when she is a surrogate for her brother and she says, "Think thick!" She is referring to the lining being thick enough for an embryo to implant. My transfer date was July 30. So again we trekked it to the city and this time they do not knock you out. You just have to come with a full bladder and then you take a Valium. The full bladder thing is because it keeps your cervix in the right spot and helps with the ultrasound guidance. I was an over achiever and by the time the procedure started I literally warned the Dr. that I may pee on you! IT was so uncomfortable to have to pee that bad. So they prep you. You again sign papers about how many embryos (we did 2). We had 15 embryos that successfully frozen and several were 1AA which is the best you can ask for. They rate them by what I kind of thought of it like how they rate diamonds haha. Anyways the Dr. kept asking us if we really wanted 2 because with such a high rating she said there was no doubt in her mind that we would get twins. We were still fine with it and I was allowed to pop my Valium. Once the Valium kicked in I got very giggly and gassy! I kept telling Cam I was going to fart and pee on the Dr. Neither of which happened. They get everything going quickly after that. There is the Dr. who does the actual speculum and catheter placement. During which an ultrasound tech is doing an eternal ultrasound to help guide the Dr. and the lab Dr. brings in the embryos. You get to watch all the fun stuff on a flat screen above you. First they show you the embryos under a microscope then you watch the ultra sound. Its all painless- plus the Valium helped relax everything. Its done in a matter of seconds and you get to see what to me looked like camera flashes when the embryos are deposited! They even print out a picture for you! Then the reward... you FINALLY get to pee!!! Best pee ever. But now begins the 2 week wait (2WW) to test. 

Egg Retrieval

May 2012

I was very sad when the IUI didn't work. I knew there were still options but just really wanted it to work! We again met with Dr. Nani who said we can try IUI again or just to IVF. We really thought trying something that didn't have a great success rate again, when it already didn't work once, was foolish. We checked with insurance and found out that because Illinois has an infertility law... if you are diagnosed with infertility then your insurance has to cover up to 4 times of IVF. WaHOO!!! We decided to get that ball rolling. Your first month you spend on birth control (at least that's what I did for timing purposes). Then the shots begin (2 of them daily) and again the monitoring with internal ultra sounds and blood work. The first part of IVF is the egg retrieval. The prep work for this is the meds trying to get you to produce as many eggs as possible all at once. I have to say this is the grossest I have ever felt in my body. I was bloated and my lady parts hurt so much I had to put a travel pillow in between me at the seat belt in the car. They day we could finally do the retrieval was God sent because all I wanted was the eggs out of me! They want you to stay bloated to prevent OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome), you really couldn't force anymore chips, popcorn, or Gatorade down my gullet. Now once things look good by the ultrasounds showing you have several follicles maturing or at least 18mm you again trigger like IUI and head to the lab within 36 hours. Our lab was at River North in the city. This day you need someone to come with you because you go under anesthesia and will need a ride home. Of course Cam wanted to come anyways but they make sure you have someone with you. So here you are super bloated and uncomfortable, in a gown and socks (make sure to bring socks because your feet get cold, also I was tipped off by a friend to bring a pillow and blanket for the ride home GREAT TIP). They wheel you away from your hubby and into the procedure room that connects directly to the IVF lab. You are in these thigh high stirrups and exposed to the room but you don't care because that's when they start the IV of night night juice :) the procedure is quick and you wake up back in the room you started. Then they want you to pee and they check and make sure you are not bleeding. Now I have never come out of anesthesia all that well, and this time wasnt much different. Once left alone in the bathroom I passed out and the nurses found me after a few minutes. Everything turned out ok but I scared Cam! The Dr. comes in and tells you how it went. In my case because I'm young (27) and the PCOS has caused me to rarely if ever ovulate... they retrieved 53 follicles from me! That's a shit ton. Most people get half that if they are lucky. 55 was the labs record... damn just shy of breaking that! Anyways  that's when the lab gets to work. They said out of the 53, 35 had mature eggs and 30 of those eggs fertilized. Now I did forget to mention that on egg retrieval day, your hubby needs to bring in his 'sample.' We had been given a cup, brown paper bag and instructions a few days prior. He has to retrieve his sample the morning of into the cup and place it in the bag. The bag needs to be kept close to your body (i just put the cup in between my boobs... ) and brought to the lab with in 2 hours. Alright so where were we- so because they got more that 35 mature eggs it can be harsh on the body and their policy is no transfer that week. This is very bittersweet. Usually you retrieve the eggs and they fertilize them. Those are your embryos. The lab watches the embryos grow and cells divide and they want to go to what is called blastocysts which means they are awesome ans ready to implant. The transfer of the embryos back into the Mama normally happens 3-5 days after the retrieval. BUT in my case they made me wait until the next cycle. Apparently even after the retrieval you can still get OHSS and that's why they make you wait.